Nuances of Christian teen dating

Is It Okay For A Christian Teenager To Have A Boyfriend Or A Girlfriend?

friendly teens

The first question I have to ask when I get a question like this from a Christian teenager is why do you want a girlfriend or a boyfriend? You have to ask yourself as a teenager what the purpose of the relationship would be if you were to start a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Why do you want a romantic relationship at a young age? Is it because your peers are starting to have relationships and therefore you feel pressured to have one as well in order to fit in or is it because you are really ready for a relationship.

Another question I have to ask you is that where is the relationship going? As a teenager, any romantic relationship you get into will most likely be a casual one because you are probably not at an age where you are thinking of marriage and ideally the whole point of dating or having a boyfriend or a girlfriend as a Christian is to see whether they are the kind of person you could end up marrying.

You see as a teenager, you can’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for the same reasons your non Christian friends have boyfriends and girlfriends. For most teenagers that are not Christians, they think casual relationships are okay and they use it in most cases to satisfy their sexual lusts and sexual curiosity. For them sex isn’t a big deal, they see nothing wrong with experimenting with sex outside of marriage, they see nothing wrong with heavy petting because they have no relationship with God and they don’t live by Christian values.

In most cases non-christian teenagers have boyfriends and girlfriends not because they are thinking about a long term relationship but because they just want someone they can get physical with.

So again I have to ask you what your motives are for wanting a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If it’s because you want someone you can kiss and get physically involved with, then that is a wrong reason to want a relationship as a Christian teenager.

Personally from experience I believe that when you are still a young Christian teenager under the age of 18, you are not ready for a boyfriend or girlfriend. Most teenagers that start having boyfriends and girlfriends too soon end up with sexually transmitted diseases, and teenage pregnancies because they don’t realize how difficult it is to resist sexual temptations in a relationship, and because they are not mature enough to handle it, they end up falling and have to face issues like unwanted or unplaned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and even abortion.

If you are not ready for a serious relationship and thinking about marriage then as a Christian teenager you don’t really need a boyfriend or a girlfriend otherwise what is the point of the relationship.

You are better off developing good non-romantic and non-sexual friendships with the opposite sex. You can still go out with a boy or a girl to watch a film or go bowling or other activities as just friends (but if you are going to do this I advice going out in a group with other Christian teenagers so that you can all keep an eye on each other, there is safety in numbers if you know what I mean), you don’t at this age need to get emotionally or physically involved with anyone of the opposite sex. Just be friends with them until you are old enough to handle a serious relationship where you are thinking about marriage.

In the mean time focus your energy and time on your school work and developing your talents and skills not on getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

I know this advice is not what most Christian teenagers want to hear but, trust me if you follow this advice you will save yourself from a lot of emotional and psychological stress and pain.